The Early Days-Getting the News

Where should I begin?

I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, so I knew the potential was there for that to be passed on to my kids. It was the last thing I ever wanted to happen to them!! My first born, Emily, was born without being affected. That's not the case for my Isaac. I had a peace in my heart with Emily that she was fine and even declined my ob doctor's offer to send me to a perinatal specialist. With Isaac I had a nagging inside my heart. Following that restless feeling lead me to request an appointment with the specialist in Atlanta.

Sure enough, my heart was right. The look on the doctor's face during the ultra sound confirmed that there was a cleft before he ever said it with words. My husband, Wayne, the rock, held my hand tightly through it all. Small tears fell from my eyes as I realized for sure all that he would have to go through. It's a long and painful road. A journey I had traveled and hoped my children wouldn't have to.

Researching information on the web and looking at pictures posted by other moms began to give me an idea of what to expect and that knowledge brought peace and comfort. I'm thankful to have known ahead of time. It gave me time to prepare, so I'd better know what to expect. My heart goes out to moms like mine, who didn't know about this tremendous blow from life called a cleft lip and palate ahead of time. At least with an expected blow you can brace yourself and minimize some of the impact. I knew exactly what it was and that it was coming and I still had about 3 million questions. What about mom's who have never even heard of it?? At least I knew how fixable and overcomable it is. Even if it does really stink!!

I can still remember some of the questions and concerns that ran through my mind. How will I feel taking him to places like church and the grocery store? How would I protect him from stares? How would I handle people's comments or questions? How could I make sure that Isaac's birth was celebrated and that he was valued by everyone who saw him as the treasure he is? So many unknowns. Other people's reactions were not in my control. I knew that I loved and accepted Isaac unconditionally, but I was uneasy about how others would react to him. And then how would I react to anyone who was rude or nosy or unkind?